Wonky emotional thermostat

My emotional thermostat seems to have moved to a setting of high which is feeling really overwhelming.  Previously it ticked along at low pretty much all of the time and if I was in danger of it warming up and me beginning to feel stuff then I would just cool it down with some liquid numbness.  Thing is now there is no more liquid ‘comfortably numb’ my thermostat has begun to overheat and my emotions are in danger of boiling over.  Everything seems to be so close to the surface and when I handle things cack-handedly with my kids and I upset them I feel their pain as if it were my own 😦  They cry and I want to cry ……

I make amends immediately to smooth over the upset that I have caused and apologise for my over-reaction but it all feels so raw.  Like I am experiencing distress that has been buried for the longest of times and has finally been exposed.  This feeling stuff is for me the hardest part of not drinking but I know it is something I just have to keep experiencing and that in time the emotional thermostat will find a more balanced setting.

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